wow!

Hello friends and family! So as you have gathered I am at ministry school in northern California and am learning and experiencing a lot! Last week we focused on the Father's love and how intimate and personal His love is. Honestly I hadn't pursued a deep relationship with Father God until now. I totally love Jesus and have loved Him my whole life but had never realized that since God is triune its important to know and love all three persons of Him.  I encourage you to pursue a relationship with the Father and open your heart and mind to receiving His craaaazy love!! Also, my mindset of "the Father is too Holy and I am unworthy to truly commune with Him" is being broken with all the new realizations I'm having that Jesus SHATTERED that barrier of unworthiness and we freely come to the Father now! 

This week we are learning about the power of prayer and its awesome! Sometimes it's easy to think "does God really hear my prayers to Him? or does He really want to even answer?" and I definitely think those thoughts.  But I'm learning that instead of praying out of hopelessness or sad desperation, if I believe in my heart that God desires good things for us (Jer 29:11, Luke 11:11-13) we pray with Faith and Hope expecting good results and deeper intimacy with Him because of prayer!! In Exodus Moses pleaded with a hope that God would change His mind about wiping people out, and it says "So the Lord changed His mind about the harm which He said He would do to His people," (Exodus 32:14 NASB). Our prayers are powerful!!! 

I also had a hard time reconciling the fact that God seems so violent in the Old Testament.  Over a series of messages and books I had the biggest and best realization that God loves me so much because He sacrificed His one and only precious Son to be crucified for my sin! That is the point where God no longer wanted the separation between us because He loves us so so much! Jesus's life as a sacrifice sufficed God's righteous anger at our sin.  It was made more real to me because I thought about if my parents would give up Ruthie and how great the sacrifice is.  So the intense love to sacrifice His Son for us reveals His heart and love and desire to commune with us and I'm so thankful.

Love you guys

New Adventures in Redding CA!

God is real. God is good. I am going to try and be as real as possible with you. Sometimes the best ideas come at night and therefore I am writing this at 1:04am on an early sunday morning...  The last time many of you read a blog post from me was when I thought I was near death with a fever and swollen ears, eyes, and stomach in the Philippines. What a journey since then! I'm not sure if I was able to share with you that I immediately began to get better after I had an epiphanic moment with God while reading 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I realized that in my weakest state of barely being able to breathe in 90% humidity and 90 degrees (along with a fever and swollen everything) I cannot do things on my own strength for the true glory of the Lord. If self is the motivation then the act, no matter how kind or altruistic, is in vain. Maybe it's like the Pharisees and their showy prayers or  so called 'charitable acts'.  Jesus tells us when we give to the needy "don't let your left hand know what your right is doing" Mat 6:3.  Maybe the same applies when you try to evangelize. There cannot be selfish ambition but rather we have to be influenced by love and humility.  The moment I gave up my selfish ambition to be a world-traveler, better surfer, awesome evangelist whatever.... that moment of relinquishing my putrid selfishness was the moment of breakthrough. The next day I felt so much better and I began to make friends with the local village kids and began to have awesome conversations. I learned around 30 visaya words to communicate and just kept loving them with the love of Jesus.  It was incredible. 


After returning from the Philippines I realized a two month time of learning how to love the least of these in a third world country wasn't long enough. I desire to passionately bring the love of God into the poorest of places. To see breakthrough and healing and hope in the destitute.  In my pursuit of mission work and relationship with our triune God I decided to sign up for the school of ministry in Redding, CA.  I worked hard and saved what I made this summer and was able to come  up with half of the tuition for this year. I decided to take a leap of faith and come to northern CA without being totally paid off but still acting responsibly.  I have applied to ten or so jobs up here and have not had any positive responses yet.  I am on a payment plan for the remaining $2000 for tuition (on top of rent and previous college bills per month).  So if anyone feels led to, there is a donate button on this blog page. I didn't actually want to ask anyone for money and I wanted to make it on my own but honestly I have run out of ideas.  But you know what? I think it's going to be ok no matter what.  One thing I know: God is good.  Sometimes I feel lame asking for money considering I'm at a school that believes in miracles and encourages great faith.  But instead of beating myself up thinking "I just don't have enough faith" I think that I need to break off that chain I've put on and realize that there is no more striving in Christ.  He has taken the burdens, the infirmities, the iniquities, and atoned for us and now we are so free and so loved by God and we don't even have to do anything to earn His love.  wow. All we do is receive.  Honestly, just lie on your back with your eyes closed and think about the sacrifice that took place and realize that its done with and receive the love of God stop trying to earn it!  We are no longer on a merit-based system!  We are totally free from that! Amen :) Love you ~Rebecca [ aka Tri :) ]